Five Minute Film Review

 

Well it's that time again, straight outta the cinema ( straight outta Compton anybody... Tough crowd )
I've just been to see 21 Jump street
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwQbPgouUYo 


CAUTION ... I heavily suggest reading this review whilst listening to this song, you will understand why, probably. 

DISCLAIMER... Only once, or the first couple of lines, the novelty will wear off.


Classic Buddy Cops... Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, Owen Wilson and Ben stiller, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill... 


wait... what Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum ? 


 2 useless cops are picked to infiltrate a drug ring in a high school... this sounds serious, Channing Tatum is in it... Wait Jonah Hills in it... This has got to be good!


I'll be honest I went into 21 Jump street expecting it to be rubbish. I can happily say I left surprised! Turns out Channing Tatum, Channing Tatum's Left Bicep, Chaning Tatums Right Bicep and Channing Tatum's meat-head all actually have comedic talent, as he manages to carry the film on his ginormous shoulders. 


Channing perfectly plays off his stereotype big, buff handsome, and about as smart as an immigrant at a BNP meeting. 
Jonah Hill as usual slips back into his awkward teenager suit and discovers that it still fits.


21 Jump street is a massive cringe fest, from the very outset it pulls punch after punch as we see Jonah Hill dressed up like a fat Eminem asking a hot girl to prom... This pretty much sets the tone of the whole film. 


Interestingly there are high profile cameos, with cooler than cool Ice cube making an appearance and even a nostalgic appearance for older audience member as an uncredited Jonny Depp appears in the film-
21 Jump Streetr jumpstarted his career!

Movie fact... Montages are awesome. Jump Street uses montages, therefore Jump Street is awesome!  


Jump street succeeds in presenting a world where the hipster is key, Tatum once the old school jock discovers that the 'jock'  is no longer prom king material... the ultra hipster 'save the world' teenager is. 


So to cap it off 21 Jump Street is a surprisingly well oiled and well directed comedy... it perfectly captures the overblown nature of 80's action movies and successfully blends in comedy too. 


Overall YAMrating is... 8/10 


With this in mind I'm pretty glad that the ending leaves the way open for a sequel!
Here's a link for the red band trailer if you are interested in the film...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLoKtb4c4W0 

Nicholas Cage in a plane crash?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW3aCuxY1DY         CLICK IT!

Yes, that link is indeed a magical gateway to unbridled 90's joy and love... and if you didn't click it then BOY OH BOY did you just miss out! Intrigued? Go on click it I DARE YOU!.

If you did click the link then fear not, for this is not some random tangent born out of my poor essay riddled brain ( Sympathy please anyone ? )

Anyway enough with the suspense... today's observation!

"John Cusack on board for Con Air sequel"

Yup that's right CON AIR SEQUEL!

Con Air was quite possibly one of the biggest in jokes in cinema of the 20th century and I can't wait! Seriously I'm more excited than David Cameron getting a right spanking from  Baroness Thatcher!

'Last month, Cage has also said that a Con Air sequel would be "interesting"'.

That's right 'interesting'... We know from experience that good ole Cage will take any old role so a chance for him to go batshit crazy is hardly going to get turned down... or is it?

So the question is if the film goes ahead is it a Plane crash waiting to happen I certainly hope not!

For more information on this beautiful observation then go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17237364

SILKy Smooth.

It's time for another review and I've set my sights on Edinburgh's nightlife, Today's target is none other than the anything but smooth nightclub silk!

Last time I checked silk was  a fine,smooth and expensive fabric, so obviously silk was going to be a classy joint... It's not.

If I was being generous I would say silk is about as classy as a night out, in a shellsuit, drinking bucky, in a needle infested bar...when you're twelve.  But then again I would rather go out with  OH MY GAWWWWD- Janice, than go there.

On the subject of tweleve odds are most of the clientelle are under the age of 18 seeing as you just walk straight on into silk!

I also personally think there should be a charity set up for the poor souls who have to work in silk doing PR for them it must be as soul destroying as watching an episode ' The Only Way is Essex'

Perhaps one of the highlights of the night has to have come from 1 of the 20 people that were there, as I witnessed 1 man being literally carried out of the premises by five bouncers.  Like I said a real classy joint.

I think the real shame is that the decor is actually quite stylish believe it or not, give it a couple more weeks and the walls will be caked in fake tan...

Without a doubt,  going to silk is like sex with gary glitter, dissapointing, underage; but not lacking in body glitter.

Movie Madness

You hear that noise? Is that the wind? No it's just the sound of millions of movie critics the world over breathing a sigh of disbelief  as Michael-ShakeyCamera- Bay announces that he is going to inflict upon the world another Transformers movie!


But this time it's different,  none of the original cast will remain as they are set to be replaced by none other than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and Marky Mark Wahlberg! can you smell what the rock is cooking ?


So what can we expect from this re imagining of the Transformers story, well just hazarding a guess I reckon some explosions, couple of car chases, shaky camera's, CGI  an emotional moving Oscar worthy performances from two of the most experienced actors in Hollywood...
Oh and of course an actress chosen purely for her superior acting skills...




For more information check out this link...http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17028248

The Woman in Black. Five Minute Review

I Just saw the Film adaption for you guessed it- 'The Woman in Black' 

From the outset of it's release it was inevitable that it would rise up box office charts faster than the Firebolt  what with I'm Daniel-Don't-Call-Me-Harry-Potter-I'm-A-Versatile-Actor- Radcliffe starring in it. 

However it must be said that the adaptation is a well directed solid piece of cinematic horror. yes of course it's inevitable that every time there was a close up of Harry, Sorry I mean Daniel's character- Arthur Kipps- that a little voice in the back of your head roughly states 

"You're a wizarrrrd 'Arry"

But asides from that It's easy to imagine Radcliffe as Kipps and the film sure as hell gives you pow per pound with some heart stopping moments and the eponymous character is the stuff of nightmares. 

The cinematography is spot on and the horror atmosphere is reinforced by an impressive score! 

The ultmiate litmus test of any horror movie of course is making that one girl in the cinema scream out loud and rest assured that was achieved on multiple occasions during my viewing!

Overall It's glad to see Hammer back to doing what it does best, scaring the Bejeeesus out of the audience.

Pick me St Valentine pick me!

Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love.

It.

Is.

Everywhere.

Excepts it's not.

Valentines Day is without a doubt one of the most devastating days in a singletons calendar - unless you possess Barney's Stinson's ultimate pick up skills, then it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Either that or you're ready to scrape said barrel.

The question is why do couples need a commercial day to celebrate their love and slam it in the face of those who are single, when couples have everyday to find different methods of making people sick in public with their displays of affection. After all you're in a relationship everyday not just one day a year.

The classic "I'm single and it's valentines" related   Facebook post... Lets be honest here, if you're going to complain about being single on valentines you would be single on the day before anyway...

However from all the debris and broken dreams of Valentines, there is one highlight... the next day there is always HALF PRICE CHOCOLATE!

Comic Sans

Congratulations... You have just clicked this link and gone forth into the unknown. If you clicked  and have already  pressed back then what I just typed is rendered redundant So boo to you! There is however  a slight possibility that you are actually reading this on the off chance that i might actually provide some form of insight- I Spy With My Little Eye, and all that Jazz, might give the game away... 


I think that's most of the bumbling noobie blogger preamble done, so now to my first ever grand sweeping observation/ statement....


Kinda wish there was a drum roll but you'll just have to let your imagination suffice...


I. Will. Never. Understand. Why. People. Use. COMIC. SANS. 


Honestly it doesn't make sense.. 


"It's funny and playful, its defenders shrilly declare. 


No its not, even the name doesn't make sense if you translate it into  french sans means without. WITHOUT COMIC. 


It makes no sense, and it's hideous end of.


For those who agree here's a cheeky wee link! 
http://bancomicsans.com/main/