Star wars episode 7: The Sacking of Star Wars

I call for a vote of no confidence in Supreme Chancellor George Lucas.

Like a lightsaber cutting through Obi Wan, the news that George Lucas has sold and cleared the way for further episodes of Star Wars, to none other than Darth Disney, has single handedly destroyed my childhood.

Like a certain fully operational battle system that we're all aware of, this news heralds the destruction of a hallowed world, which millions have sought refuge in. As Obi Wan once said

"Millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

Obviously these cries have fallen upon deaf ears, George Lucas not only content with ruining the original trilogy and then introducing us to Star Wars High School, When Hayden Christiansen went from being an annoying twat to the most feared Man/ Cyborg/Terminator/ Sith/Cripple in the galaxy.

So what next for Star Wars, can we expect Mickey Mouse to be revealed as the darkest sith Lord in the Galaxy that no one knew about? Or rather will Jar Jar binks have a spin off documentary where he gets up to hilarious antics?

As a self-confessed Fan boy I've read and am well aware of the possibilities of the Expanded Universe, but I believe they should stay as novels a possibility of what could happen. Despite my dislike of the prequel trilogy, I believe that Star Wars should have middle a beginning and an end. However flawed the concepts might be (George Lucas not actually concluding how you can bring balance to the force.)George Lucas selling the rights to Disney prevents this, the raft of Disney spin offs or sequels that will be produced, while they may be good films on their own merit won't reflect what made Star Wars the cultural phenomenon that it was.


Just as you can't recreate the feeling when you first fall in love or experience an extreme sensation, you can't replicate the wonder that the original Star Wars brought. I know that when the new Star Wars is released I will go and see it, but i also know that for me it just won't be the same.

Arguably Star Wars is a work of art, it is a series of films that has worked it's way into the cultural psyche and filled children with giddy excitement and as such has become a part of our cultural heritage.


I'll leave you with this final parting shot... a wise man once said

'People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behaviour, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as "when life begins" or "when it should be appropriately terminated," but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavour. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.'*

You know who said that... That's right George LucasFor the full article see link below
*http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2011/09/george-lucass-1988-speech-about-preservi.php

Where the news broke- http://thenextweb.com/media/2012/10/30/disney-purchases-lucasfilm-including-the-star-wars-franchise-for-4-05b-in-cash-and-stock/

Why, Youtube, Why?

Why... that's the question I'm asking myself, the world, the great void of the internet... and you.
What has happened to Youtube? I understood before that it was being taken over by Google and that this mean we would have to put up with the odd advert.
BUT why can't they make any sense.

Take today for example, I'm chilling out just been at work come home and think to myself " I think I might put some Queen on while I get started on my university assignments."

So I type in that hallowed link of mine to discover to my disgust  that Bohemian rhapsody has been brutally disfigured by the advertising Gods. I  find myself forced, notice that forced... against my will, not coerced, persuaded or even driven by a burning desire, to witness Justin-hey-I'm-no-longer-prepubescent-and-whiney-i'm-a-rapper-like-puff-daddy-now-Bieber serenade me with her latest song 'boyfriend'

Seriously why? this advertisement is wrong on so many levels:
One it's Justin Bieber, therefore about as appealing to 19 year old males as getting your penis chopped off.

2. I'm 19 years old, and guess what what that means?.. I'm not 12 anymore, I know what music I like, and  that also means I know I don't like her music.

3.There is no skip option. None. That means I have to listen to Bieber I possess no choice whatsoever. That's wrong on so many levels, If I want to listen to Bieber then I will,I will type her name in on Youtube and consequently call up the nearest psychiatric  ward and request to be admitted for severe mental trauma and not to be released until I recover my sanity.

4.It's Queen I want to listen to. You know the classic rock band from the 70's, with their own musical named after them and songs that still play on the radio. But what do I have to watch first, a 30 second clip of Justin Bieber, who has utterly no relation to Queen in the scales of musical taste.

I guess what I am trying to say overall(besides my burning dislike of Bieber) is that some advertising just doesn't make sense if I have to watch an advert I wish it would at least be targeted to meet the requirements of myself as a person, or at least exist within the common boundaries of genre, say if I search queen and I get an advert for journey's greatest hits, then maybe I would not care as much. But being submitted to Bieber's music when all I want is Freddie Mercury's outrageous vocal range is wrong.

So to that end I ask you, Why, Youtube,Why?..

Five Minute Film Review

 

Well it's that time again, straight outta the cinema ( straight outta Compton anybody... Tough crowd )
I've just been to see 21 Jump street
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwQbPgouUYo 


CAUTION ... I heavily suggest reading this review whilst listening to this song, you will understand why, probably. 

DISCLAIMER... Only once, or the first couple of lines, the novelty will wear off.


Classic Buddy Cops... Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, Owen Wilson and Ben stiller, Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill... 


wait... what Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum ? 


 2 useless cops are picked to infiltrate a drug ring in a high school... this sounds serious, Channing Tatum is in it... Wait Jonah Hills in it... This has got to be good!


I'll be honest I went into 21 Jump street expecting it to be rubbish. I can happily say I left surprised! Turns out Channing Tatum, Channing Tatum's Left Bicep, Chaning Tatums Right Bicep and Channing Tatum's meat-head all actually have comedic talent, as he manages to carry the film on his ginormous shoulders. 


Channing perfectly plays off his stereotype big, buff handsome, and about as smart as an immigrant at a BNP meeting. 
Jonah Hill as usual slips back into his awkward teenager suit and discovers that it still fits.


21 Jump street is a massive cringe fest, from the very outset it pulls punch after punch as we see Jonah Hill dressed up like a fat Eminem asking a hot girl to prom... This pretty much sets the tone of the whole film. 


Interestingly there are high profile cameos, with cooler than cool Ice cube making an appearance and even a nostalgic appearance for older audience member as an uncredited Jonny Depp appears in the film-
21 Jump Streetr jumpstarted his career!

Movie fact... Montages are awesome. Jump Street uses montages, therefore Jump Street is awesome!  


Jump street succeeds in presenting a world where the hipster is key, Tatum once the old school jock discovers that the 'jock'  is no longer prom king material... the ultra hipster 'save the world' teenager is. 


So to cap it off 21 Jump Street is a surprisingly well oiled and well directed comedy... it perfectly captures the overblown nature of 80's action movies and successfully blends in comedy too. 


Overall YAMrating is... 8/10 


With this in mind I'm pretty glad that the ending leaves the way open for a sequel!
Here's a link for the red band trailer if you are interested in the film...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLoKtb4c4W0 

Nicholas Cage in a plane crash?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW3aCuxY1DY         CLICK IT!

Yes, that link is indeed a magical gateway to unbridled 90's joy and love... and if you didn't click it then BOY OH BOY did you just miss out! Intrigued? Go on click it I DARE YOU!.

If you did click the link then fear not, for this is not some random tangent born out of my poor essay riddled brain ( Sympathy please anyone ? )

Anyway enough with the suspense... today's observation!

"John Cusack on board for Con Air sequel"

Yup that's right CON AIR SEQUEL!

Con Air was quite possibly one of the biggest in jokes in cinema of the 20th century and I can't wait! Seriously I'm more excited than David Cameron getting a right spanking from  Baroness Thatcher!

'Last month, Cage has also said that a Con Air sequel would be "interesting"'.

That's right 'interesting'... We know from experience that good ole Cage will take any old role so a chance for him to go batshit crazy is hardly going to get turned down... or is it?

So the question is if the film goes ahead is it a Plane crash waiting to happen I certainly hope not!

For more information on this beautiful observation then go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17237364

SILKy Smooth.

It's time for another review and I've set my sights on Edinburgh's nightlife, Today's target is none other than the anything but smooth nightclub silk!

Last time I checked silk was  a fine,smooth and expensive fabric, so obviously silk was going to be a classy joint... It's not.

If I was being generous I would say silk is about as classy as a night out, in a shellsuit, drinking bucky, in a needle infested bar...when you're twelve.  But then again I would rather go out with  OH MY GAWWWWD- Janice, than go there.

On the subject of tweleve odds are most of the clientelle are under the age of 18 seeing as you just walk straight on into silk!

I also personally think there should be a charity set up for the poor souls who have to work in silk doing PR for them it must be as soul destroying as watching an episode ' The Only Way is Essex'

Perhaps one of the highlights of the night has to have come from 1 of the 20 people that were there, as I witnessed 1 man being literally carried out of the premises by five bouncers.  Like I said a real classy joint.

I think the real shame is that the decor is actually quite stylish believe it or not, give it a couple more weeks and the walls will be caked in fake tan...

Without a doubt,  going to silk is like sex with gary glitter, dissapointing, underage; but not lacking in body glitter.

Movie Madness

You hear that noise? Is that the wind? No it's just the sound of millions of movie critics the world over breathing a sigh of disbelief  as Michael-ShakeyCamera- Bay announces that he is going to inflict upon the world another Transformers movie!


But this time it's different,  none of the original cast will remain as they are set to be replaced by none other than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and Marky Mark Wahlberg! can you smell what the rock is cooking ?


So what can we expect from this re imagining of the Transformers story, well just hazarding a guess I reckon some explosions, couple of car chases, shaky camera's, CGI  an emotional moving Oscar worthy performances from two of the most experienced actors in Hollywood...
Oh and of course an actress chosen purely for her superior acting skills...




For more information check out this link...http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17028248

The Woman in Black. Five Minute Review

I Just saw the Film adaption for you guessed it- 'The Woman in Black' 

From the outset of it's release it was inevitable that it would rise up box office charts faster than the Firebolt  what with I'm Daniel-Don't-Call-Me-Harry-Potter-I'm-A-Versatile-Actor- Radcliffe starring in it. 

However it must be said that the adaptation is a well directed solid piece of cinematic horror. yes of course it's inevitable that every time there was a close up of Harry, Sorry I mean Daniel's character- Arthur Kipps- that a little voice in the back of your head roughly states 

"You're a wizarrrrd 'Arry"

But asides from that It's easy to imagine Radcliffe as Kipps and the film sure as hell gives you pow per pound with some heart stopping moments and the eponymous character is the stuff of nightmares. 

The cinematography is spot on and the horror atmosphere is reinforced by an impressive score! 

The ultmiate litmus test of any horror movie of course is making that one girl in the cinema scream out loud and rest assured that was achieved on multiple occasions during my viewing!

Overall It's glad to see Hammer back to doing what it does best, scaring the Bejeeesus out of the audience.